September 24th, 2009 - The early days in New York

Moving to New York has always been a dream of mine since I first discovered jazz at age fifteen. My idea of what New York City life was about consisted of living in the Village in a loft and going to late night jam sessions. Success was measured in the frequency with which I played with the "heavies" - maybe Ron Carter or Elvin Jones.

I first moved to New York in 2001 with a fresh load of cash I saved from a winter's worth of pianobar work on a cruise ship. I initially moved to brooklyn and fled after a bizarre incident with a roommate, which is a story for another time. My cousin Karin, a well known visual artist, graciously offered to let me rent her second bedroom on the Lower Eastside. I rented a keyboard and set up an amazing jazz-centered experience. I took voice and piano lessons, practiced 8 hours a day, heard live music almost every night and camped out at the late night jam session at Smalls.

This was an incredible time of rediscovery for me, a jazz obsessive who had taken a six month hiatus from her addiction to all things Bud Powell, in exchange for a paycheck. Six months of Pianoman and Crocodile Rock had taken their toll on my jazz persona and I was ready to move back to my music of origin. I arrived in NYC in early spring with the dream of becoming a jazz musician once again.

My schedule was set in stone: 9am wakeup and chat with artist cousing. 10am practice, taking a short break to watch the last 30 minutes of the Young and the Restless. 5pm I would stop practicing and head to a 5:30 yoga class at a Hare Krishna temple at 1st Ave and 1st Street. I frequently had dinner with my cousin and then was out every night hearing music.

When I look back, those days were pure bliss. I had no responsibilities and since I was new in a big city, I was completely anonymous. With a sharper pair of glasses, I can remember how intense the entire experience was. I had some vocal issues at that time, due to overuse on all those months on the cruise ship and I was working hard with my voice teacher to overcome them. It was very scary.

I also remember feeling so far behind the other musicians my age, who I was hearing night after night at clubs in the Village. I thought I would never get "there", wherever "there" was. I practiced long and hard, so that I could fully internalize everything that I was learning from my piano teacher Garry Dial. I learned songs, transcribed solos and started composing material that didn't sound so "standard".

Interestingly enough, the early New York influence is really reflected on my 2002 CD "All She Needs". Half of the CD was recorded pre-New York and half of it was recorded post-New York. Change was happening to my playing and to my life as a whole.

That was eight years ago. I have been in New York ever since and I am amazed by how different my life and my life in music is. I moved through a lot of the insecurities and compulsions of music and have managed to carve a niche out for myself that I find challenging and engaging. I am in such a different place than I was less than a decade ago.

There are times where I wish I could reach out to that younger woman and tell her that everything is going to work out and that she shouldn't be so afraid. I also share with my students how crucial it is to enjoy the journey. The journey is all there is.