Ch-ch-ch-changes

In the last twenty four months, my life has moved forward more than in the prior 5 years.  I got engaged, moved three times, got married, got pregnant, started two new teaching gigs and had a baby.  Most days I can't believe how lucky I am to have gotten to where I have gotten and to be living the life I'm living.  Actually, I feel that every day.

For most of my adult life, I have been driven rather obsessively towards my music and my career.  I literally lived and breathed for the music of Oscar Peterson, my rigorous practice schedule, keeping my touring life together and my website updated.  I spent most of my time surrounded my musicians, thinking about music, working on music.  Nights spent with my laptop on my sweaty lap madly following up with club owners trying to hustle gigs, promote the ones I had and sort out what music I was going to play and musicians I was going to play with.  It was non stop.  This brings us to 2009.

In addition to that, I was trying to continue making a living in the madly expensive New York City.  I had made the choice to stop the revolving door of roommates and was keeping my two bedroom apartment in West Harlem to myself.  In addition, I was in the utterly outrageous process of applying for my Green Card; a process which required a massive amount of time, organization and money.  I was working.  A LOT.  I had a large stable of students whom I was teaching -  in my home and theirs - seven days a week.  I was running a program at the Ronald McDonald House.  I was running the Kids In the Balcony program for the New York Pops Orchestra.  I was music director at Trinity Episcopal Church in New Jersey.  I was in the process of releasing my CD "Songs For  A New Day" and touring with it.  I was sidemaning for Diva Jazz Orchestra and Wycliffe Gordon.  Etc....  I was BUSY.  Then came the end of 2009, when I met Gerard.

I met Gerard right at the point where I was feeling that my work life was everything and my personal life was nothing.  This kind of no-balance living seems to plague a lot of my music friends.  Who has time for a life when you're trying to make music, right?  I was getting ready to phase out my Sunday work, just in time to start spending time with the new man in my life.  Five months later, we were engaged.  Three months after that he had to move out to Rockaway while in between jobs and I chose to move with him.  I liquidated a lot of my work, explored work as a classical conductor and gave myself a chance to enjoy my personal life for a while.

I have taken what I consider to be a long hiatus from my life as a Jazzgrrrl.  I have devoted the last two years to the study of classical voice, taking lessons with the amazing Hilda Harris, singing a few stints with some of the semi-pro classical ensembles in town and conducting the Rutgers University Queens Chorale.  I let go of my daily practice routine to devote time to creating a home with Gerard - organizing, buying, letting go of, decorating and more organizing.  I have focused my energy on my teaching studio and becoming a better voice and piano teacher.  I went through an exhausting pregnancy and prepared our home for our new baby while finishing a few personal projects that I had been meaning to do forever. 

I have been living in the moment and allowing myself to take a break from my jazz habit.  I haven't really been listening to jazz.  I haven't been going out to hear it.  I haven't really hung out with many of my jazz friends.  I haven't taken any jazz lessons.  I haven't been practicing much - just enough to get through the few gigs I booked, just to keep me in it.  I lost a lot of that intense drive that I had for so many years, which was replaced with the thorough enjoyment of making a lovely home for my husband and now my child.  It was a scary thing to walk away from my life's work, especially when I wasn't sure if I would want to come back again.

Now my son is 8 weeks old, and I am starting to feel my passion for jazz/music in general growing again.  I have started to catch up on my listening - checking out recordings by Gretchen Parlato, Kate McGarry, Kurt Elling, etc. which I have missed in the last few years.  I am starting to get ideas about projects that I would like to start and especially projects that I would like to finish.  I have started practicing again (during baby's naps) and have a voice lesson scheduled for next week to dust off the cobwebs on my vocal instrument.  I have booked two gigs - one in NYC on June 1st and one in Toronto (my old home) on June 15th.  I am already thinking about those gigs and am feeling really excited to make music again. 

I have decided to revisit this blog in an effort to map for myself (and anyone out there who might be interested) the reboost to my work as a JazzGrrrl.  I am a daily journal writer, but that mostly deals with my personal thoughts and frequently turns into a list of things I need to do around the house.  This blog format (I hope) will help me to stay geared towards jazz and music related topics.  I would like to write about what I'm practicing, listening to, gigs I've gone to hear, articles I've read and various other not-too-personal things.  I am interested to see where this whole thing goes...