Lowered Expecations

So it turns out that the best laid plans can easily be hi-jacked by a newborn.  I'm sure any new moms out there are laughing out loud at my saying that, but how the Hell was I supposed to know?!!?  My attempts of daily practice were interrupted this weekend by work - I did an actual gig, taught many hours on Saturday and played a church gig Sunday morning - and by baby.  Baby seems to want to eat all the time, which means I can't exactly belly up to the piano and play the Goldberg Variations.  BUT - I did manage about 20 minutes of vocalizing to get my mix to set up in the middle.

My dear friend Lisa is always reminding me of my rampant perfectionism (which I am grateful for), which assists me in being hyper-productive a lot of the time, but also sends me into rather a lather when I can't get everything I want done.  My son is now the #1 most important thing in my life and when he needs me he needs me.  It really is a pleasure and a privilege to be able to devote myself to meeting those needs.  BUT - the thing that can truly drive me nuts is ME.  I can no longer do what I want when I want.  I can no longer just decide on doing something and then forcing it to happen.  And I certainly can't do that when I have a little man who views me as the food source.

If only I could truly live in the now, be 100% grateful for what I have in my life and not expect myself to be able to be a great mom, who can practice 4 hours, run a teaching business, book gigs, win a Grammy and exercise regularly all while managing to put dinner on the table by 6pm.  Now, I would settle for being able to put on clothes that don't have too much spit up on them, while managing to brush my teeth every couple of days.

My goal is still to practice every day and I still would like to do the next show off book, but I realize that I'm going to have to come up with a much more creative way of getting that to happen.  Suggestions?