As a new mom, I look to other moms for inspiration. I have a few acquaintances and friends who are moms who are doing amazing things: releasing new albums, touring, etc and I look at them wondering how they can do it all! Most days I have to decide between practicing the piano and taking a shower while the little man naps. How can people release albums?!?
My good friend Amy Cervini has a fantastic 2 year old son and was very kind to remind me that she wasn't exactly musically productive when she had a three month old. I really needed to hear that! I sometimes feel so overwhelmed that I don't know how I'm going to get through the day just taking care of my guy, which causes me to doubt that I'll ever be active in the music scene again! Inside I feel so crazed and have so many doubts and I look at what others are doing and compare myself to them. Not a great thing to do!
Just the other day I was chatting with the mom of one of my students. She has an 8 year old and a 5 year old and told me that she was impressed by how easy I'm making it look. She said she was amazed that I was teaching, doing gigs and that I always look so well put together(!!!!!). I was so flattered by that and it was a great boost to my confidence, especially considering I usually have barf on at least one article of clothing!
It made me chuckle to myself that the other mom was looking at my outsides and comparing them with her insides! I told her that although it might seem effortless for me, I was struggling most of the time. She thanked me for telling her that, as she often felt overwhelmed.
I am learning to be more patient with myself and to be grateful for any time that I have to make music. More than that, I count my blessings every day for my beautiful son and husband, who make me smile every day. I know that many great musical experiences are still in store for me...
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